We recently wrote about how to make a graceful exit out of the bridal party (on your own terms), but what if you were kicked out? No matter what the reason (and yes, even if it was your fault), feeling ostracized is a bummer. Especially if you've already dropped major cash on a dress, hair and makeup, and the like. And the emotional side of things is just as painful.
So what's a gal to do? How should you react, and is it okay to still attend the wedding?
Here are a few tips to help you navigate this situation.
Try not to take it personally. It's normal to feel hurt, but depending on what went down, it might not be all about you. Maybe there is something deeper going on that you don’t know about. Or maybe you know exactly what's going on and if you have no one else to blame but yourself.
Either way, it's best to wash your hands of any drama and move on. If you feel it's necessary to talk about it with the bride-to-be, do so in a respectful way. Communication never hurts when it's handled properly. But don't go into a discussion with your walls and defenses up. Take some time to cool off, if you need to, before confronting the bride.
To attend or not attend the wedding? That is the question. And it really depends on the situation. First, consider the relationship. Who is the bride to you? Best friend? Relative? If she asked you to be in the bridal party, chances are you have a strong friendship and you should probably still attend the wedding.
But if she hasn't made it clear, communicate with her about the issue. Ask her where you both stand and how she feels about you going to the wedding. If you just flat out don't even want to go, then you should probably let her know that as well. You might try calling her and letting her know you don't feel comfortable attending, but you'd like to work on the friendship (if applicable). Again, examine your unique situation and follow your instincts.
Consider compensation. Money issues are a bit tricky, but if you’ve already made travel plans and/or bought a dress, see if you can get compensated for at least part of what you’ve already put in.
Check out the airline's cancellation policy and if they offer refunds.
See if you can return the bridesmaid dress or sell to a place like Pre-Owned Wedding Dresses or Tradesy.
In the end, whether you made a mistake or the bride became a bridezilla, what's done is done and there's no changing the past. You can only move forward. Maybe that means forgiving and forgetting, salvaging a worthwhile friendship, saying you're sorry, or cutting the cord for good. Assess your situation, listen to your heart, and do what's best for you and the bride.
